Supernatural john winchesters journal

November 20: I killed a man in cold blood tonight. No. I killed a shapeshifting monster tonight to protect all of the people who dont know things like that exist. But it would have looked like a man to any of those people. And Dean saw it happen. It looked like Ichi, a hunter H took me out with. We were lo loooking for a heeler, a kind of . . . som something. Not a man. It attacks, kills, then springs away before kill anyone can react. Springheel Jack, any Jac Jackk the Ripper, was a heeler, acc cord cording to H. But H is the same gu guyy who had me roll Jacob into a quar ry, still alive. He was going to quarr die. I know he was going to die. But he wa was still alive. A then tonight, Dean walked And out of the roadhouse right right whe when I put the nal bullet into the shape-shifters head. And he said, Whyd you kill him, Dad? How am I supposed to answer that? Because he wasnt a man, he was a monster who looked like a man? My boy walked out the door and saw me shoot someone in the head. Maybe Im the monster who looks like a man. Back up. Write everything down. H said he was going to start showing me the ropes. There are people who hunt monsters. They have a kind of network, moving through places like Bill and Ellens roadhouse. Bill is a hunter, and they have a little girl, Jo. Shes not much older than Sammy. The hunters swap stories about what theyve seen. Theyre all damaged, broken. They hate the things they hunt. Im just like them. Ellens niece watched the boys while H took me and Ichi 6 out looking for this shape-shifter. Mary, you know I would never leave the boys with strangers I couldnt trust. You know that, right? I never would. November 21: The boys are with Pam and Bill in Elgin. I havent spent a whole night away from them since Mary died, and I can feel it like a hook in my gut, wanting to get back to them, protect them. But H says I need to talk to Mary again, and if he can make that happen . . . He goes on about demons. A demon killed his wife, he says, and just expects me to believe it. But what he looks like to me is someone who let grief turn him into a monster. Whatever happened to his wife, it doesnt excuse what hes done. And I cant let myself turn into him. Im not a hunter. Im a husband and father who wants revenge for his wife. Heres what I wish I could say to DeanYour brothers too young to understand any of this, but youre beginning to. And that scares me. Since your mother died, Ive seen unspeakable things, and now youve seen them and thats my fault. I feel the darkness of the road Im traveling on now. Its not a place for you. One day youll seeI had to leave you today . . . but when Im done, I promise you: the day will come when I never have to leave you again. Until then, I can only pray that youre strong enough to look after Sam. One of us has to be. November 24: Were on the way to somewhere, H and me, but Im the rookie and I dont get to ask where. He says hes taking me to meet someone whos going to let me talk to Mary, but before that we need to do a couple of things. 7 A hunter never passes up a hunt. Never. This is what H says. So tonight we took on a strange kind of undead thing. H said it was a revenant, maybe? I dont know what that is. Yet. Ill nd out. P People called it Doc Benton. He wanted to live forever, and when want he ccouldnt make alchemy work, he tturned to organ theft instead. He kept himself alive by replacin ingg each of his organs, as they failed one at a time, with organs hhaarvested from unlucky locals. A According to H, this has been g going on since 1816. The doc was trouble, until I took him apart with a chainsaw after H corppse of his most recent victim. burned the cor Lesson: burning the victim weakened the doc by depriving him of the power hed gotten from those organs. According to H, you can solve a lot of problems with gasoline and a match. I need to learn more about revenants. I need to learn more about everything. November 25: Today, in a town called Blue Earth, Minnesota, I met a crazy priest who brought Mary to me. His name is Jim, but what he did wasnt like any church ritual Ive ever seen, and I doubt he learned it in a seminary. He cut himself, and his blood turned into re, but it didnt burn him. And then the re turned into Mary. Mary. 8 She said my name. I think she said some other things too, but hearing her voice say my name again . . . I cant describe what that was like. But it only lasted a few seconds and then she turned into a . . . I dont know. Like the Black Shuck, a devil dog. A hellhound. It spoke to me, and said, Soon you will come to me. After it was gone, Jim looked at the hellhounds tooth. There are numbers on it: 1127. Mary died at 11:27, according to the police report. H and Jim agreed that the numbers were some kind of coordinate carved into the tooth, but what does it mean? Written in blood: In olden times in the West people used to say I put my hand and seal on a document when signing it. In the East this was literal in some cases. The emperor of Japan in ancient days signed important documents by dipping his hand in blood and putting a full bloody handprint on the page. In the history of pacts with the Devil, people were supposed to sign their names in blood. I have seen a couple of alleged pacts from earlier centuries and neither, as far as I can tell, was signed in blood, though they do bear signatures of people. Blood undoubtedly stressed the seriousness of the signing. You were giving away your soul. The Blood Is the Life. November 27: 1,700 miles in 24 hours at, me and H handing the wheel back and forth, from Blue Earth to Tempe. Fletcher Gable. He showed us a map of cemeteriesDevils Gates, he called them. Places where demons can get through to our world. I dont know about demons, but the map was divided into sectors, and cemetery #112 in Zone 7 was in Hope, Colorado, near the Four Corners. 9 I dont know how to explain wh whaat happened there. The Fore Inn, Inn, set on the edge of a town fulll of dead bodies, hallucinaful tion tions . . . we found the inn, and theere was the hellhound, the th Bla Black Shuck, and it came to H like a spaniel. He said he ddiidnt kill Mary, but he set tthhe dog on me, and said he kknew some of the players iinvolved. But they werent ddemons, he said. I killed the g, and then H changed hhiis whole tack. Said that everything doog, thee dog d on me, was a way to get me to hedd done, even siccing th nt He said he wasn wasnt H he h was something else in a hunters t H, hunt. body. A mans body. All I could think of was shooting the shape-shifter outside the roadhouse with Dean as a witness. I killed H, and I burned the hotel. Im writing this at a rest stop on I-76 outside Julesburg. I killed H, and Ill goddamn well hunt, all right. Ill hunt, and the boys will hunt, and we will nd whatever killed Mary and we will send it to Hell. And on the way, we will kill every monster and ghoul and ghost and demon and anything else. My boys will not grow up to experience what I have. They will not lose what I have lost. This black dog, or the divel in such a likenesse (God hee knoweth al who worketh all,) runing all along down the body of the church with great swiftnesse, and incredible haste, among the people, in a visible fourm and shape, passed between two persons, as they were kneeling uppon their knees, and occupied in prayer as it seemed, wrung the necks of them bothe 10 at one instant clene backward, in somuch that even at a moment where they kneeled, they strangely dyed. Englland, 1577. Scorch marks lefftt on the Eng ngerprrints church door door,, kkno wn as Devil Devils FiFingerp church nown ints.. November 29: Were gone from Elgin. Where to, I dont know. Wherever I can learn what happened to Mary, and kill whoever did it. The hunters are out there. One of them must know something about what happened to her. Ill head back to the roadhouse rst. Bill and Ellen will let us stay for a while. After that, who knows? Never been much for books, but then I never was much for keeping a journal, either. Things have changed. I started looking for old books like Fletcher has, like I saw some of the hunters reading at the roadhouse. I need to learn. Know your enemy. And I started digging around libraries. Im collecting old police les, going through microche . . . looking for any res, arsons, with similar MOs to our re. Im gonna nd this thing that killed my wife, and when I do . . . God forgive me . . . 11